13 Sep 2009, 11:45 AM
Kirsten wrote:
Good point. Definitely a good habit to form. Do tell people what you think and how you feel, particularly about them.
I do find the quote from 'unknown' rather presumptive in that it appears to dictate a particular way of being (one that matches speaker's own perception of who 'you' ought to be) over what 'you' find to be fitting.
As humans are dynamic (not static) beings, I find it extremely challenging to presume what the right/true persona is for another individual. Quote illustrates statements used to restrict liberties, hem-in or define what is acceptable/looks probable to us and impose it upon others when we ought to respect their exercise of free will.
In so doing, we work to discourage them from being as they wish! This, of course part of the give and take of being social and such pressure ought to be resisted and seen as a prompt to be sure we refrain from doing the same to others.
We, none of us, can be only one way in all circumstances, and I would hope not! We ought to be discerning enough to invoke appropriate conduct before elders, in professional or otherwise formal settings, among peers and again different among intimates. This is what it is to be human in society. We may also elect to exhibit qualities before some that we would would elect not to before others. This then does not lead to the conclusion that we are adopting qualities not our own. In fact, it would not be possible to do so. At least not for long. If the latter, then nothing need be said for it will have dropped off on its own and we can only love what is there not what is absent.
As among lovers, what we love is never the personality, when it is true love. Why? Because even after you love them, people will surely change their personal qualities-- they have to. So, if that's what you love, you will not love for long.
When it's true love, one is not, 1st of all, drawn to a person with clashing personal qualities, but they may surely be different. However, the quality of true love is such that, the personality is not a barrier to love! THIS is a FACT! Reply to this
Good point. Definitely a good habit to form. Do tell people what you think and how you feel, particularly about them.
I do find the quote from 'unknown' rather presumptive in that it appears to dictate a particular way of being (one that matches speaker's own perception of who 'you' ought to be) over what 'you' find to be fitting.
As humans are dynamic (not static) beings, I find it extremely challenging to presume what the right/true persona is for another individual. Quote illustrates statements used to restrict liberties, hem-in or define what is acceptable/looks probable to us and impose it upon others when we ought to respect their exercise of free will.
In so doing, we work to discourage them from being as they wish! This, of course part of the give and take of being social and such pressure ought to be resisted and seen as a prompt to be sure we refrain from doing the same to others.
We, none of us, can be only one way in all circumstances, and I would hope not! We ought to be discerning enough to invoke appropriate conduct before elders, in professional or otherwise formal settings, among peers and again different among intimates. This is what it is to be human in society. We may also elect to exhibit qualities before some that we would would elect not to before others. This then does not lead to the conclusion that we are adopting qualities not our own. In fact, it would not be possible to do so. At least not for long. If the latter, then nothing need be said for it will have dropped off on its own and we can only love what is there not what is absent.
As among lovers, what we love is never the personality, when it is true love. Why? Because even after you love them, people will surely change their personal qualities-- they have to. So, if that's what you love, you will not love for long.
When it's true love, one is not, 1st of all, drawn to a person with clashing personal qualities, but they may surely be different. However, the quality of true love is such that, the personality is not a barrier to love! THIS is a FACT!
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Thanks, that was a great way to start my day.
Peter
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